Far Away |
When I first saw you I knew that I wanted to be with you, as my attraction lingered...... and then just greatly grew. It seemed like we could talk forever and enjoy our thoughts, and into the idea of being in love with you I quickly bought. Things for me moved so quickly as I knew they would, sometimes forgetting I was moving faster than you could. I threw caution to the wind and layed it all on the line, as I hoped that someday you would choose to be mine. What started out with promise came crashing down, as I failed you so deeply and saw that disgusted frown. I have tried to understand where you are coming from, but my heart is dropping..... like it weighs a whole ton. I try to pretend like it doesnt really hurt all of that much, but if i tried to say to you I just would be lying of such. So I take a deep breath and know it takes time to heal, though I am deep down confused as to how you feel. Miles seperate us from being able to see each other, but I Love you dear and dont want to be like a brother. I had promised to never use that word about us, but thats howI feel and I cant help if you make a fuss. All that I can do is bide my time and see if things improve but this time is rough and its makining me pulsate and move. It seems so strange that once we could talk like forever, yet now you ignore my calls and yet dont totally sever. I dream of when I held you but yet not all you certainly needed, yet you will never know how I loved the way I was treated. Being held back by you and kissing you was so exciting, is why I desire you and call on you...... as always for inviting. The future is so up in the air at this time that my heart burns, with a strong passion for you that exposes all of my yearns. Laying awake at night with my eyes closed seeing yours, only builds this little fire of hope that unashamedly cries for more. Its so strange as we chat in cyberpace with each other now, seems like something is missing and fallen away some how. Always feelin under scrutiny and not quite sure of what it is, even wondering if our conversation is spotty and maybe a miss. No one knows the future....just the present and all of our past, maybe with nurturing and understanding we can make this last. I know in my heart that we could be good together as a team, because I think perceptions that have been destructive are...... not as they seem. Dennis 4/1/2004 |
